Thinking

I was listening to an audio book on my way up to see Tyler and it just made me think a lot about things that I have done in my life and things I want to do. It made me think about places I've been and places I wanted to go. I made me think a lot about people in my life and people who are still in my life. I miss some people in my life. I really do. I wish some people who use to about around were still around. I also wish some people who are around were a more integral part of my life. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really doing the most I can. If I'm really living up to the full potential. If I'm going to regret things I didn't do or stuff I did stay. Is what I'm doing really making me happy or continuing to contribute towards me being happy or are they just things that I rationalize into goodness in my life.

I had a great time this weekend, but being on the road for 10+ hours really gives you a lot of time to think. I think way to much. I'm always imaging and re-imaging the way things go and how I could make stuff work differently. I talk to myself and have conversations that I would like to have or would have had differently. I know I'm crazy. So sue me.

Sometimes I really just want a hug. Not a quick hey how you doing long time no see hug, but that hug that lasts a bit longer. The one where you can feel the stress drain away. The good hug. I need hugs. I really do. I miss quite a few things about having a girlfriend. I really miss hugs and cuddling. I know I sound like a girl but whatever, it felt good and it was super relaxing.

Anyways. In a couple weeks I'll be back on another mini-vacation. This time I'm going to try and standby a flight out to Denver. I hope that goes well. I'm sure I'm going to have plenty of time to think and miss people in my life.

Until then I'm going to fill it with books, audio books, and friend! I love my friends.